You may interpret the title incorrectly, but I’m sure as you read the article through you will know exactly what I’m talking about. A couple of days ago I came across an old friend. We decided to have coffee in a nearby shop; that was when she told me about her husband and swinging. I’m a swinger myself so I told her directly that I’m swinging. She told me that her husband asked her to come to a private party saying that they should test the water and take it from there. She was not sure about swinging at the time. They met a nice swinging couple and her husband decided that it was OK to swing; she was reluctant yet they all did it anyway.

Here’s what I don’t particularly like about the story: involuntary swinging. Testing the water is definitely common in swinging especially with new couples. Even avid swingers do this whenever they are engaging new parties. Still, attending a swinging party or meeting with another swinging couple should have no strings attached to it. There is no such thing as having to go through once you are there or once you met someone. You shouldn’t drag your spouse to swinging by saying “we’re here anyway, we might as well try this all the way”, because it is not the way to go.

Swinging is about mutual pleasure, and such pleasure can never be achieved if one party is not feeling comfortable. If you are interested in swinging and would like to try it with your partner, make sure you keep this principle in mind. There is nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable about swinging — in fact, swinging requires a lot of trust and some couples just don’t have that yet — and the correct approach to this issue is to let your spouse find his or her comfort zone first before taking another step.